Oh, Anita! Ooooohhh, Yeah!!!

Sorry guys! I must burst your fantasy bubble concerning Anita Baker. It is a well-known fact that she sings only for the HBM (me, fool!)

Some people are under the mistaken notion that she sings for and to her ugly husband, but I'm here to shout it from the mountaintops! (Granted, there are no mountaintops in Chicago, so I'll go to the top of the Sears tower, instead.)

For Me. To Me. Don't hate.

I also have it on good authority (mine, of course; duh!) that she reads my blog lovingly each night before going to bed!

Oh Anita! How Long must we pretend, baby? Dump the chump and come home to Daddy! We can keep each other warm under the stars on my vast estate in Bronzeville.

I can't guarantee you any privacy, but sooner or later everyone falls asleep and the streets are quiet.

Under our extra-large sleeping bag, legends of love will be made. Adam and Eve. Franky and Johnny. Romeo and Juliet. HBM and Anita!

Sort of rolls off your tongue, doesn't it?

Now Go to my Business Site and Buy a few hundred cell phones, alright? I must try to take care of my life long lust (love) in the manner she is used to.

It's so hard being so handsome...